Tonight I ran into the first friend I made in high school… and time has not been kind to her. She moved back an forth between New Jersey and Missouri and I haven’t really seen her since I was 15. She was someone whose friendship didn’t even make sense to me at the time, and now, our differences were so apparent it was astounding.
She used to do a lot of drugs when we were teenagers, and its pretty obvious that she continued down that path. She aged horribly and looked much older than 25. She was missing teeth, wrinkled, had leathery skin and her voice sounded like an old woman’s. She then proceeded to tell me how she had a baby, and even referred to him as “her little bastard” whom she was hoping of getting custody of soon and have him move to New Jersey with her.
I feel terrible because she was so excited to see me, and told me how she’s been thinking about me a lot lately and that I was the best friend she ever had. Seeing her just made me awkward and uncomfortable, and I didn’t really want to be around her. She used to get me into really sketchy situations and I always had to take care of her, despite being younger than she was.
It was just really sad. I know I’m not going to make any attempt to befriend her again, but I can’t help but feeling guilty about it. I have to keep reminding myself that as an adult, I don’t need to be friends with people who don’t positively influence my life.
I just got such an amazing compliment from my boss over a box I designed! It’s really gratifying to know that you’re doing well in something you love and that you’re on the right career path.
I’m elated right now. :)